New Season, New Format, New Designers
When they said "90 minute episodes", I was concerned that meant that they tried to fold the Models of the Runway show into the regular episode, because I skipped that for a reason (the reason being: it was boring). However, as soon as I saw the episode start with (after a montage of NY scenes) Heidi and Tim, I thought, "Oh, good. It looks like that means more judge and Tim stuff." Tim-terviews!
Our first rundown of some (but not all) of the designers is via voice-overs by Heidi and Tim. As usual at this point, there's far too many people to keep straight. There's no full opener for this episode, probably because they want us to get to know people before they have them say stupid quips.
There are more people. They start to trickle in and some meet up in small groups in various places. Ivy thinks she's gonna be the star of the show and a force to be reckoned with. I've seen three episodes of her stuff now. She's wrong. Casanova is a designer from Puerto Rico, and has the thickest accent ever seen on Project Runway. He seems like he might potentially be funny, but he is wearing in both arrival and interviews kinda unattractive outfits, one of which doesn't fit right, which doesn't give me a lot of confidence in his taste. More on that later.
Sarah looks pretty cool and collected but needs to stop bleaching her hair that way. She meets A.J. and is taken aback that he's from a small(ish) city in Missouri. Wasn't Santino also from St. Charles? He admits he's out of his element in NY, though. He talks really quickly in his interview and probably needs to switch to decaf, but he makes a good point in that he says he could lie and say he's sure he's totally ready and could beat everybody, but anyone who comes on that show and says that doesn't know what they're talking about. And: agreed. He says he's glad the first person he meets on the show is cool, and for some reason was afraid that he was going to run into some older lady.
Cue older lady. Peach is from the North Shore area near Chicago, which immediately makes me sure I'm not going to like her. I am wrong. Sitting here from post-episode-3 land, I can tell you she's actually one of the nicer and funnier people on the show. Also, I think the oldest contestant in the show's history. She's 50. She runs into the much younger Nicholas, who looks like Clinton Kelly's long-lost (but much gayer) cousin. He says that he can't wait to beat her. She says, to his giggles, "Get ready to be schooled, little boy." They're joking. Also, in no way going to beat anyone anytime soon. (Er... spoiler!)
Casanova is joined by Kristin, who is all like "*raised eyebrow* Casanova! *purr*" He says it's his real name. They're joined by dread-locked McKell. What is it with reality shows with white people with dreads this year? At least hers are neatly up-swept. Heidi said earlier she left her baby behind to be on the show, and McKell tells Casanova and Kristin that her baby is 9 months old. You sure this isn't a vacation for you, McKell? Kidding. Kristin interviews she's an "accidental" apparel designer; she's the one earlier Heidi was saying made mistakes, but good ones. She likes to leave the mistakes in. She wants us to embrace the crooked zipper. Okay.
It takes Jason takes under a dozen words to let us know he's straight, which I guess he feels important to tell us considering he's wearing a pink shirt. I don't mean some pale pastel pink, either; I'm talking full-on "pretty little princess" pink. He thinks he's tough. He also thinks his stupid bowler hat will intimidate people. I think he's a tool. I am undoubtedly not alone in this. He meets Gretchen and immediately asks her what nationality she is. This appears to be solely so he can tell her (and us) he's Italian. Yup. Tool.
Peach and Nicholas end up on a boat (why?) with Mondo, who is somewhat geeky-looking, and who should not wear that stupid bow-tie-and-shorts outfit again. He is this season's Malvin, only somewhat more emo and less getting kicked off so quickly. (Um. Spoiler? It's three episodes in, I'm sorry!) Nicholas tells us he used to be an architect, which means he's at least the second architect-turned-designer the show has had (the first being Laura from Season 3). They're joined by Ivy.
Good Lord, this is going on forever. My last-season strategy of sticking to designs only seems pretty smart now. But I've gone this far, let's continue.
Christopher and April, previously introduced respectively by Heidi (as talented and cute) and Tim (as a recent design school grad) meet up. Christopher is from San Francisco, which April deems awesome (she's totally tubular). He says one of the greatest feelings in the world is walking down the street and randomly running into someone wearing something you designed, and that you can't pay for that feeling. It's true. I've had things I've written quoted and it's really awesome when it's by someone who's praising it. April admits to Christopher she's a recent graduate, and he offers her a sincere congratulations. She interviews that people might think she's too young to be here, which is true, someone will think that, but apparently not Christopher. Although April is a cheerful-looking blonde, she's also the resident goth aesthetic. Interesting. This is information that comes out when they meet up with Gretchen and Jason, who I'd also like to refer to as other things, but we're not at the point where my loathing for Gretchen occurs, so let's move on.
One of the show's two Michaels joins Sarah and A.J., who I wish didn't have periods in his name because it breaks up my typing flow. Maybe I should just type it as AJ from now on. Okay, so AJ and MichaelC and Sarah meet up, and MichaelC rubs me the wrong way, partly because He Came Here To Win, and partly because with a couple more episodes' perspective, I find he's really too aware he's A Personality. Which involves some funny, don't get me wrong, but the self-aware nature of it doesn't appeal to me.
And... they're all meeting up together, including the ones that the show didn't bother to introduce yet, and here come Heidi and Tim! They've met up in front of Lincoln Center, which is where NY Fashion Week has moved to. No more Bryant Park tents? Huh. Anyhow... I guess if the show isn't going to bother to introduce Andy and MichaelD and Valerie, I won't either! Let's move on.
The Challenge
So, Tim and Heidi let the designers know that they're technically not on the show yet, in the sense of there they are being recorded by cameras for broadcast, but since they couldn't narrow it down from 17 to 16, their first challenge is the "last phase of the audition process". Which... what's the difference? Aside from not letting people unpack and move into their rooms, I guess, which they don't 'til the end, but still. Heidi pretends they might eliminate more than one person. I'll get to that later, too.
After the commercial, Heidi points out they all have their suitcases with them, and asks them to take out one item they would like to "incorporate" into their garment. Everybody rummages through their suitcases. They finally get around to introducing MichaelD, who mainly does knitwear. Heidi says the item they're holding must be worked into their garment, only not really, because here's the twist: they have to pass what they took out to the person to their right. Casanova tells us he took out one of his favorite pants which cost him a ridiculous $1000, and is dismayed because he realizes someone else is going to cut it up. I really wonder what the hell he thought was going to happen if he worked with it... did he think he'd just be putting a pair of $1070 (he's very specific) pants on his model unaltered? Seriously? And who the hell pays $1070 for... er, well, I'm watching a fashion show, and I know stuff like that can go for even more, so, never mind. An oddly glasses-free Mondo also seems to be confused on the whole "using this in a garment" concept, saying he was planning on wearing the kilt he pulled out tomorrow, but, now, guess not. Guys... have you ever watched this show? And, um. I know Casanova might have a language barrier, but Mondo? Keep up with us, hon.
They're given five hours to work on the design. Harsh. I gotta say, I've gotten really sick of all the challenges being so short. Some people have said "Oh, it's always been this way," but it hasn't been. Even back in Season 1, when they had runway the second day, they were given more time that day to work on things as a rule. And they at least used to mix it up... one day some days, two days another, but not nothing but one day one day one day one day oh two days but you have to make seventy things. Anyhow. Whatever, they don't care what I think and it's not like there's any lack of people still applying for the show.
Anyhow, Heidi emphasizes they must be able to see the garment they're holding in the final design. Gretchen gets some more face time and calls herself a rural girl from a humble background with a hippie lifestyle who hand-dyes her stuff and uses green fabrics. This is partially voiced over her walking next to Tim as they go to Parsons, showing again that she's wearing a denim jacket. Because denim is nature's fabric. And yes, I know it's made from cotton, so technically it's natural, but I'm not sure it qualifies as "green" given its mass-production nature. I'm just saying. Plus, I can't stand her... well, no, let's be fair. At this point in the show, I only mildly dislike her. Something about the way she interviews rubs me the wrong way. Eventually I will realize this is because she thinks her shit don't stink, but I didn't know that yet, right? That... that probably isn't actually "fair". Eh, whatever.
Parsons, Here We Come!
The workroom has been painted a very pretty purple and green scheme this year, which I love, because that is one of my favorite colour combinations. You have to use the right purples and greens for it to work, but they did. If I had my own house, my kitchen would be lavender and olive. I know you care a lot about that. Everyone gets to their areas, marked by dress forms with their names pinned to them.
Valerie has some little... doll thingie that she and another designer think is cute; Ivy is giving her or the doll a stink-eye. Shut up, Ivy. I don't care that you didn't say anything. Shut up. Valerie says that she was poor growing up and describes a store they used to shop at that was "a little better than Salvation Army, but not as good as Wal*Mart". That would be poor, yes. That's how she got into design; she started altering her clothing from there. I'm always surprised there aren't more people with a similar background, though there's been a few others. When I grew up, a lot of people whose families had less money had a mom or an aunt or a grandmother who made some of their clothes. My aunt made my 8th-grade graduation dress.
I haven't talked about the other portfolios but I wanted to say I was interested to see that she uses an odd sculptural neck structure in some of her pieces that vaguely reminds me of last seasons' Maya. It's not the same style, but it's a similar approach. I haven't seen much of that, and I find it interesting... I should go look at some of the current fashion and see if anyone else is working with it.
Tim comes into the workroom and does the usual shilling for the brands, although to be fair both Brother sewing equipment and the HP sketchpads are good products at least. (I wish I were getting paid to mention that.) He also announces that for this challenge, Mood has come to them (probably because of the stingy time constraints), that they have model measurement cards for each of them. They're given 15 minutes to sketch and then they're going to the "Mood Annex". I love Tim. He seems so thrilled! He just always really seems to enjoy anticipating what people are going to make.
I just noticed that Tim is also wearing purple. It's not the same colour as the workroom but it does seem to go with it. I wonder if that was on purpose or if purple's just in right now? I would love if purple were in. It gets panned so often. I am wearing, as I type this, a dark purple tank top which was purchased only a couple months ago, so I guess it's at least "in" enough for the low-end mass market arena. I shop at my local grocery store. No, that's not a joke; that's actually where I got this. Okay, they're more of a superstore than a just groceries, but, yeah. This may give you an idea about why I seemed to empathize with Valerie up there.
Oh, finally they get around to introducing Andy, who says his aesthetic is different because he's from Hawaii and he draws from "a really genuine place". Does New York not exist or something? I'm not sure what that means.
Everybody goes over either what they're doing or what fabric they had to work with, which... not enough info to really tell you exactly who has what, but let's see if we can hit the high points (or the low ones as the case may be). MichaelC is so that guy at the party where you've known him for years and you're friends with him kinda but you hate the way he knows how funny he is even while you're laughing at his jokes. I'm just gonna assume everyone knows at least one person like that. Anyhow, he jokes around in his interview, and is funny but I still wanna smack him. He's working with something Very Pink.
Everyone goes to the Mood Annex. Kristin wants to make a jacket but doesn't know if she has time, so it might be a dress. McKell isn't inspired by AJ's shirt. Casanova still isn't over the stupid pants thing, like it wasn't him who picked them and... I still am boggled. Jason the Tool has Andy's kimono, which he's... playing with the way it's draped or something? I don't know. Peach has MichaelD's knitwear and it's coming unraveled. He sneers at her inability to work with knits. I want to slap him. We go to a commercial, and I go to get some coffee because I have another 44 minutes of video to watch, and yet somehow I've already written over 2500 words. Yeesh. I hope someone out there enjoys this!
Tim's Workroom Visits
Tim Time, Yay! I am thrilled that Tim's workroom visits are getting more airtime with the new episode size, but sadly they still only check in with a small subset of the designers despite that. This early in the season, it makes it a lot more obvious who is going to be the focus during judging, although hopefully that will be alleviated some as the pool of designers shrinks.
First visit is with McKell, whose dress he calls adorable. It's based off a blue man's button-down shirt, and she's working on using that as the bodice of a dress. Nicholas had a polyester jacket, which is a fabric usually shunned by professionals. Understandable, I guess. He's using the bottom part of the jacket as the neckline. Tim says he's intrigued by the idea of using sportswear in something more elegant, and that it has potential, but it's not there yet. Casanova is making a very revealing dress. Tim asks if it's sexy or vulgar. Casanova thinks sexy. He's wrong. Tim doesn't come right out and say so, but you know he's thinking it. Casanova started with a blouse, which appears to have been used in the skirt. He interviews he thinks Tim doesn't like his design. He's right this time.
April had a tuxedo jacket, which she's using inside out for the top of her dress. Tim asks how she's finishing it. She doesn't know yet, and he reminds her the clock is ticking. Valerie interviews that April's in trouble. Shush, girl. I want to like you, don't ruin it. Tim checks in with Jason next. Jason is wearing some sort of designer tool-belt. In the workroom his shirt is more orangey than pink. More salmon than princess. Still pink, though. Anyhow, he has a kimono which basically he's turned around backwards and done... something with the sleeves. Tim is dubious it's transformed enough, and Jason isn't using any additional fabric. Nicholas thinks Jason's is worse than his. He's right.
Gretchen is up next. She started with what she calls a "cape-like jacket". I would argue those are two different things, but whatever. She's using the beaded jacket material to make shoulder trim of some sort, really. The rest is new. She explains her design philosophy, blah blah blah. Tim is completely with her, he says. Peach is next, and is still not happy with her original garment. She shows Tim the problem; when she pulls the scarf, it runs. This is why knitwear is difficult at best to reuse, folks. Even I knew that it would be a problem, and I'm hardly a professional. Tim calls it completely unforgiving and gives her a suggestion about how to use it, and even says if she has to glue the model in, do it. Wow, that's really... unusual for him, but whatever.
Mondo is glasses-free still (and I know it sounds like I'm harping on that, but in the next couple episodes we see several different pairs of glasses, so...), and started with a green coat and used that for the basis of his dress, with some additional patterned fabric used on the sides. Tim gives him the bad news it looks a bit matronly. Mondo's surprised, but clearly takes the criticism about that and his sleeve plan in.
Sadly, that's it for now.
Pre-Runway
Sewing montage. People are worried and stressed about time. Tim comes in and announces they will have only 10 minutes to fit models before they go to the product placement hair and makeup rooms for an hour. When the models return, they will get to use the product placement accessories wall. I'm going to refer to that as Tim's Standard Pre-Runway Speech from now on unless something changes. I'm not averse to the product placement because I know that's how they finance the show, but I'm not going to advertise for them. Except I actually like Garnier shampoos, so I'll go ahead and mention them. I also use Aussie, though, so I'm gonna mention them, too. Send me an email with details on how to get my money, k?
Here come the models. They look around as they enter, trying to spot their designers, who they're meeting for the first time. I wish the show could strike a happy medium between a full show dedicated to them (which was boring) and letting us know something about them and their reactions to the clothes, but maybe that's something they'll show more of when there's fewer designers. We'll see. Peach is a lot shorter than her model and climbs up on a stool or something to fit the bodice, heh. It actually makes her tower over her model, but really only by about as much as her model towered over her to begin with.
Fitting and pinning montage. Ivy interviews she's a fast sewer. Girl's also a very fast talker. Jason is having issues fitting his model, and also interviews that her bust is large and therefore distracting, because he's, y'know, straight. He doesn't want to cross the boundaries but, you know, he's straight, and she has boobs. If I didn't already think he was a tool I'd probably be more sympathetic, but... tool.
More montage. In the sewing room, MichaelC asks if anyone's super confident or super nervous. When he's not Being a Character he seems more reasonable. The consensus is on "nervous". It's the first show, not a real surprise, right?
Hair and makeup montage with a few bits of conversation between designers and stylists. McKell wants like a mohawk, but curled, military, but girly. I have no idea what she is envisioning. The hair guy says they can give the "essence of a mohawk", which sounds like an ingredient in a very weird magic spell. Peach can't really decide what she wants. Jason wants wild hair, and while he's messing up his model's very bleached hair, she looks displeased. I wonder if he copped a feel earlier. Peach is still clueless. Get it together, lady!
Casanova starts explaining what hair he wants. The guy has to explain he's in makeup. Casanova is like, "Okay, makeup," with a bit of an eye-roll at his own self, and they share a laugh. You know, he doesn't seem like a bad guy, which makes what he's going to send down the runway a real tragedy. Spoiler! Gretchen is giving very specific styling instructions; her makeup guy seems like he wants to escape. Don't worry, dude; in about two episodes everyone else will be right along there with you.
Montage montage. Tim comes back to give the 15 minute warning. People are still sewing and trimming. See, this is why you give them more than five hours, people! Kristin has forgotten her model down in the hair room. Oops! They have to run across what is apparently a large chunk of building to get her through makeup on time, and the dress is still on the form. More running around. Nicholas says his heart is pounding. Yeah, I bet everyone's is. I could never do this even if I were actually a designer. McKell isn't worried. Peach thinks she's going to pass out. Breathe. Jason is stapling his thing together.
Tim comes in to say it's time to go! Casanova's model isn't dressed! He manages to get her into her outfit in the hallway and announces "She's dressed, she's done." Tim asks incredulously, "She's done?" She doesn't look done to me, either. But let's save that for the runway.
At Last, The Runway!
Heidi and her bangs come out to greet the designers, introduce the judges, talk about the prizes, one of you will be in, one or more out, blah blah blah. She does call their time "a measly five hours", which, yeah. She makes out like this is just to test if they can deliver under pressure. Which, yes, but... still. Guest judge is Selma Blair. I should probably know more about her, right? I don't. Sorry. She has a nice smile, though.
Let's start the show:
Valerie, from Casanova's pants: Valerie feels really good about her dress given the time constraints. She has paired its sorta bleah grey-brown colour with pink insets and a yellow trim on the skirt hem. The dress hits mid-thigh, a strapless cocktail-dress style with a fitted waist. The bodice looks almost oddly armor-like in the way it covers the breasts. You can see some of the original pant pleating from its waistline in the skirt. Kinda cool. The pink is used in the center of both the bodice and the skirt. It needs some polishing, but: five hours. In the back, there's no pink, but there's more yellow lining the inside of the low-cut back. Not bad, really.
Peach, from MichaelD's disaster scarf: Most of the scarf isn't visible, so basically she made a simple halter-necked sleeveless dress with a short skirt in a pretty pattern that's doing a lot of the work. The scarf is used in the trim around the neck. It's pretty cute from the front, but when she turns around, we see the top is held on by a thick bit of scarf under some white mesh that is tied around her waist. It seems oddly out of place on the dress, which makes it feel like she wanted to make a cute dress and only included the original as an afterthought. Still, it's reasonably well made for a 5-hour dress.
McKell, from AJ's shirt: I wouldn't go so far as to call it adorable, but I do think this is kinda cute. You can tell the top is made from a shirt, which is good in this case, and she's matched it with a sort of cloud-like blue pattern with silver bits. The top's shape is very reminiscent of a standard triangle-ish gown halter but you can still see the shirt collar. The thing I don't like is where the skirt starts; it's about where you'd expect an empire waist but because of the shape of the waist and the skirt itself (a fairly wide, slightly pleated A) it ends up looking funky. From the back, the top is a racer back, which looks really nice, but the skirt has this big sashy bow. Don't like that. The hair's nice, but I'm dubious about the pink bag, though one of her fellow designers says it's perfect. It's not horrible but I think silver would've worked nicer, but that's what she picked for the shoes, so maybe not. Michael Kors is laughing a bit, though... not a good sign. (Do I have to type MichaelK for him? Yeesh. Too many Michaels.) Anyhow, the dress isn't bad, really. At least not as far as I'm concerned.
Andy, from Gretchen's skirt: First, let me say, his model does a great job with this, which is unfortunately notable since over the next few episodes I become less and less impressed with many (not all) of the models. He's done a terrific job with this outfit. It's got a great jacket, which the model removes as she goes down the runway, and a lovely top with a big billowy elbow-length sleeves cinched with a very wide almost obi-like belt in the center—I guess that's the Asian influence Heidi mentioned about him. Also vaguely Asian is the triangular hat held on by a chopstick-like dealie. The pants are, well.. pants. They're well-made, though. The top is essentially backless, but the shoulders and sleeves form a triangle at the top that covers part of it. The pants are pretty high-waisted, which wasn't noticeable from the front... not sure how much I like that part. It's really polished-looking for five hours. If I have any real complaint it's just that I wish he'd used at least one non-black fabric, maybe somewhere in the belt (which may be dark brown instead but still, close enough).
Sarah, from MichaelC's shirt: It's... a shirtdressromper? I mean is that what you call it when you take a shirt and turn it into a romper? Well, let's just go with romper. I'm obsessed with that word, which I usually find infantile, but I'm having fun typing it today. Romper. It's grey, with a couple flashes of teal and some sort of metallic-ish gold under and on the lapels of the shirt respectively. There's a teal stripe down the shorts of the romper. There's some side-facing pockets at the waist. The fit isn't terrific, but: five hours, new models. But it's not bad overall, even if it's not really stand-out. The styling is not great, though. Too dark a lip, weird hair.
Nicholas, from Christopher's bomber jacket: Okay. My first impression is that this is really unfinished-looking. Nicholas says he likes clean sophistication, and I can kinda get where he was going, but he didn't get there. It's a long, floor-length sleeveless gown, with that piece from the jacket he was talking about across the shoulder line, and a cloth belt. It's in a unfortunately slightly cheap-looking shiny greyish blue. I think it may be satin, but either he overworked it or it wasn't high-quality. The back has a visible zipper, which some people like, but I don't. Styling's not bad, though.
Mondo, from Valerie's sweater: Mondo obviously took Tim's advice, because he abandoned the sleeves even though we saw him working on them after Tim left. Basically he's made a tank-strapped mini-dress with the green fabric of the sweater as the base, but with this triangle-wave patterned fabric in grey across the bodice and down the sides of the front, and then as the back and down the center of the back of the skirt. I think I like this, actually, and I like his styling, including the bright red purse. It appeals to me. It's probably not "fashion forward", maybe a bit of a 70s vibe really (especially his model's flat-ironed hair), but as you will come to find out, I care very, very little about that if I think it's done well. He's worried about a "wonky" hem, but compared to some of the other stuff it's really well sewn IMO, so there's that.
Ivy, from Peach's pants: From Peach's pants, Ivy has made... pants. On first viewing I wasn't sure I really agreed with people this was necessarily bad, because she did tailor them and make a blouse as well, but now that I'm looking at this again I like the blouse a lot less than I did before. It's a somewhat blue-grey, shiny, sheer material that's been turned into a basic top with little fitting. Around the neck and down the front are diagonal ruffles that cut across the bust in a somewhat unflattering way. In the back is a big strappy bow. People, stop that. I mean, there are places where bows work. This is not it. The styling on this is... okay. Not helping any, but not really hurting either.
MichaelC, from Kristin's skirt: It's very pink and black. There was a black... shrug or something. I didn't get a good view of it because the model shucked it off at first opportunity. The top is very blousy (in the "loose" sense), with a halter neck and some... hrm, is it ruching if it's not small ripples? Something between ruching and pleating. Is there a word for that? Help me out here. The skirt is very tight, short, and made of what looks more like vinyl than anything, though I don't think that's what it is. It does fit his model like a glove. Once she turns around, you see that from the neck there are big loose "straps" going down the model's sides, and then a set of smaller straps that start at the shoulder and meet in the middle. That part's a little sloppy. I guess it's fine but not really to my tastes. Also, I'm not actually sure which part used to be the skirt, but I assume the top?
Kristin, from Mondo's kilt: Okay, so... here's where having a handy guide to how to describe fashion would be helpful. Bear with me. This is a very voluminous sleeveless dress with an architectural approach. The plaid that I assume used to be Mondo's kilt is wrapped around the neck, comes down across the front of the top in an over-sized collar, and then is also visible as a sort of belt on the skirt. The skirt's front cascades down in large, origami-style folds, and has a lot of volume. It is, unusually for this show, knee-length. From the back, the kilt material is only visible at the neck; the rest of the material is a textured black fabric. The styling is what I will call "quirky", meaning that while I'd have a hard time imagining someone going out looking like that, it does seem to be fine on a runway. I... think I kinda like this. I'm not sure how much, but there's some whimsy here I'm responding to.
Christopher, from Sarah's dress: I think he made a dress from a dress judging from one of the comments from someone in the designer's seats. However, I don't think the shape is what it started as, so unlike Ivy's pants, it actually is more designed. The fabric is a dark earth-toned print which is... eh. Not something I like, but if that's the material he had to work with, it is. It's lined in light brown. The collar on the dress is ridged and stands upright. Interesting. The dress itself is fairly basic and sleeveless, cinched at the waist with more brown material. The hem is something shy of a bubble skirt but not as poofy as they often get. I guess it's okay and the styling's middlin', but overall I'm kinda meh about it.
April, from Nicholas's blazer (actually a tuxedo coat): As said during Tim's walk-through, she turned the jacket inside-out and cut off the sleeves to make the top of the dress. It's still got a lot of unfinished seams, but it kinda looks intentional. The shoulders are pointy, reminiscent of Ben's stuff last season, and there's what would be a rectangular cutout down the center of the top except it appears to be stuffed with fabric in an asymmetrical way. I'm... not loving that part. There's a dark belt that looks very goth. The dress is fitted fairly well but it's really short and the hem is also unfinished. April mentions she didn't have time to finish tailoring it, and, yeah, that shows most in the skirt, but she could get away with calling it deconstructed, I think. Mostly. The styling seems appropriate for the dress.
Gretchen, from April's "blouse": I thought it was a cape-jacket? Whatever. It's a little black dress with cap sleeves made of the original beaded fabric. It has one of those skirts where the front is shorter than the back. It looks pretty well put-together, but it's a very simple dress. When she turns around, the back is revealed to be more sheer and loose, and exposes just the lower back. From the back the skirt looks different, like a calf-length A-line skirt. It's not bad, I just don't think it's all that special. Apparently I am wrong. (Spoiler!) The hair and makeup are good, but the shoes are all wrong.
MichaelD, from McKell's dress: This is another one where I'm not sure what was the original. This dress really reminds me of a very casual (and short) kimono or I guess maybe more a happi coat. It doesn't precisely look like one but it has that feel. It's in a sort of tiered set of colours, orange, pale blue, beige, and dark brown. I guess it's really more a wrap dress than anything, kinda short (really a mini), with long sleeves. There's some sort of ropy-belty action going on at the waist with multiple loops. From the back it's an entirely different vibe. There's a humongous cowl neck (is it still a cowl if it's only in the back?) and it's very loosey-goosey. I don't mean that in a bad way; it feels breezy and light and looks exceedingly comfortable. I really like it except for the use of some applique flowers which I think may've been the original? I don't know. They're used as a closure in the front, and on the back of the neck at the top, and while technically they go with the dress colour-wise, they seem out of place with the style of it. Speaking of style, the model styling is great for this, and she does a good job with an easy comfortable walk that matches the dress's style. I guess he can work with non-knitwear after all.
Jason, from Andy's kimono: The original kimono was apparently a solid deep brown (or maybe with a black obi?), which is odd as generally kimonos are multi-coloured, but that's not the problem here. The problem here is Jason, who has apparently decided turning it around and re-draping the sleeves and changing the way it falls slightly is all he needed to do. It looks horribly sloppy. It's literally falling apart as the model walks. It looks like someone who had no clue what a kimono was put it on backwards and couldn't figure out how to arrange the sleeves or hem, which as they're a bit complicated is possible, but it's not a design. It's worse when the model turns around and it looks like she accidentally tucked the skirt up into the waistband. I don't quite see model ass, but it's close. The only thing I can say in his favor is he knows this is horribly made, but I don't think he thinks his design is at fault, just his execution. Also, the boots the model is wearing do not go with this. At all. I, uh. I probably don't need to tell you I don't like it at all, right? Heidi has a look like "WTF?" I have never been more in agreement with Heidi. Ever.
AJ, from Jason's sweater: The first thing I think is "Oh, please, not another Christopher!" This isn't to my tastes. It has a tight bodice, with a sweetheart neckline in a sort of layered set of curves. That part is fine. What I don't like is the humongous skirt that's made with layers of mesh and other materials and has a big silver bow at the waistline. It's too short to be that poofy and work for me. AJ thinks it "stands out the most". That's not always a good thing, hon. But it does seem to fit his whole "party-girl" aesthetic, I suppose, and I've seen other dresses in a similar style. The problem is, the proportions don't seem right to me. The styling does mesh well with the dress, though.
Casanova, from Ivy's blouse: Oh. My. God. Okay, so, this dress is only "on" the model in the loosest of senses. From the greyish blouse, he has made a skirt. It reveals her hips. I mean, entirely. It is attached to the extremely revealing and ill-fitting halter top by some sort of granny brooch. The halter's material is a dark brown base with green and rose shapes that look like an abstract floral print, and it hangs down below the rest of the skirt on one side. It's the only thing about this outfit that is even remotely appealing. They show a reaction shot from Ivy (they've been doing this with most of the designers) and her eyes widen. I'm with you, sister. Heidi looks amused. MichaelK looks disturbed. Nina isn't even writing; she's just lifting her brows and giving it the look you give... this sort of dress. From the back, the skirt is less of a nightmare; it's longer and it has some nice movement, although there's some visible seaming (probably from the original blouse) I don't care for. The only thing from the back that indicates she is not topless is a bikini strap. He says it's sexy but it's not vulgar. He is very, very wrong. Cut to another Nina shot. She has mouthed "wow". I don't read lips very well but I'm sure of this one. Then she starts writing. We cut to another shot of the dress. Make it stop. Please? I cut my eyes up to the model's hair. She should be in an Elvis movie in Hawaii with that hair. Seriously.
Whew. That's the last one.
Judgement Time
Heidi calls a metric ass-load of names, because there are a lot of designers. They can leave the runway and go unpack. Most of the outfits I liked were in that bunch, of course, because the judges and I are apparently are destined to not agree on much this season. Sucks to be me.
Left on the runway are: Ivy, McKell, Casanova, Gretchen, Nicholas, Jason, and April.
Instead of just getting to the regular judging, we follow the safe designers to a back room. So they're not unpacking. They're all very relieved.
Back on the runway, Heidi informs us that they had a rare unanimous decision for the winner. It's Gretchen. I am rolling my eyes so hard right now. Here's who I liked better than Gretchen: Andy, Mondo, and Kristin. They would've been my top 3. I would've put MichaelD and Gretchen right after them, about tied. There is nothing wrong with her dress, but in my eyes, it is not a clear winner. Heidi says she had one of the worst materials to work with. Yes, and her dress is 90% something else, isn't it? Michael Kors calls it "wearable but interesting". Are you leading a really boring life lately, Michael? I'm just asking. No reason. Nina thinks the model looks very sophisticated. Yes, but that's not because of the dress. The styling maybe, and the fact that the model is gorgeous. Selma calls it elegant. But she also calls it a "special, simple dress". Yes. It's that "simple" that's making me wonder WTF the judges are smoking.
Back in the back room, the designers are happy she won. That'll be changing soon. (Spoiler!)
Heidi tells the remaining designers they are all in the bottom and once again pretends they might be sending more than one person home. Now, I'm actually behind this as there are two looks up there I think deserve aufing for: Jason and Casanova. Jason's isn't designed so much and is absolutely falling apart. Casanova's is Casanova's. They both are terrible. The rest I don't think are all that bad.
They start with Ivy. She calls her aesthetic minimalistic and says she likes to concentrate on details, pointing out some pleating on the pants. Michael Kors says "no offense to Peach, but I don't know why she packed those". Because they're cute? Whatever. He says the model has a lot of personalities going on in one outfit. That's at least a better criticism. Nina is all like "you took a pant and made it into a Capri". Ivy talks back. Nina says to forget the pant, the blouse is awful. I can't really totally disagree about the top, but, yeesh. Harsh judging on the styling, which I thought was fine. Not great, but not the "disaster" that Nina calls it. Nor are those pants "small-town hick", Selma. Says the woman wearing a blouse with a distinctly similar black-and-white pattern on it. *eyeroll*
Jason tries to explain his outfit and says there's nothing the judges can say he won't agree with. It's the least tool-like thing he's said the whole time he's been on. Heidi says it looks like her hairdressing cape. I laugh. Selma says there's something interesting about it, and I realize I think she has absolutely no idea what she's talking about. This is why I like it better when they get actual fashion designers to judge looks. Nina asks "Did you think you could just put it on backwards and we wouldn't notice?" He makes some defense about what he was going for and time restraints, blah blah. Michael says it just doesn't work, and they kinda leave it at that.
April, who appears to be falling asleep or really depressed, explains what she did with her design. She says she wanted it to be kinda raw and unfinished—the defense I suggested for her, sorta! Heidi says that always worries her because it's hard to tell if that sort of thing is intentional, which: agreed. That's the issue I have with deconstruction. Michael says if she's going to do deconstruction, they have to be able to see she can also construct. April accepts this. Nina says the model looks like an 80s street walker, and I'm amazed she didn't burst into flames from the look the model gives her. She further says it looks trashy, and April is much better-natured than I am because she also accepts this. She then says with more time she could really show the judges what she could do, and really, what else can she say?
McKell is next, and explains her dress idea. Nina says that she likes the fact that McKell mixed those fabrics, but hates the styling, especially the bag. That's a valid criticism, of course—I wasn't entirely happy with the bag, either—but it's not exactly about the dress. Michael says it looks like a disco apron, and I resolve to send him a thesaurus so he can refer to some other kind of loudness besides "disco". He says there's no cohesion, and he doesn't like the side boob, which, again, granted. But in no way is this anywhere near as bad as Jason or Casanova, right? Right? Heidi thinks it's butt ugly. I think your bangs are butt ugly. Come on, it's not that bad. It's just a little wonky. The idea is good!
Nicholas is next to explain. Heidi says it's odd and boring. Nicholas apologizes. I ship Nicholas a backbone. Nina says the idea sounds fantastic but the result is too quiet. Fair enough. Nicholas explains he was worried about time, and he's sorry he didn't go more dramatic with the skirt. He hopes he gets a chance to show them what he can do with a bit more time. His voice sounds like he's shaking. Poor guy. It's not that bad, Nicholas. Really.
Casanova. Oh, god, I have to look at his dress again. Michael Kors calls it odd, "mother of the bride who's a belly dancer". Michael, I'm going to take away your "disco" and "mother of the bride" terms, okay? Try new comparisons. Please. I'm begging you. Then he calls her a "pole dancer in Dubai". See, that's funny. Nina calls it "questionable in taste". Nina, there's no question here. It's totally in bad taste. Heidi tells him to defend himself. He doesn't get it. Nina translates, and he defends himself. Ish. I hate his outfit so much. I mean the one he's wearing. Plus the one he made, but the one he's wearing has a tie looks like it belongs on a 3-year-old.
Time for the judges' "little chat". Off the designers go. They go in the back room and let everyone else know that... they don't know yet. Ivy has an interview in which she exaggerates the experience of being critiqued. Just be glad you didn't get told you had a taste issue, okay?
Judge deliberation. Ivy really gets a reaming. Same stuff, just more expanded. During their dismantling of Casanova, Michael says "There is something intriguing: what could the car crash be?" And that right there is why he's staying, isn't it? Sigh. Michael then says he liked the way Jason's was put together, he liked the boot. Are you kidding me? Really? Whatever. He and Nina like the spiky hair. Dude, that's just the model's hair. Come on. About April, while they feel the outfit was a mess, they think it at least looked like a modern outfit, though Michael expresses doubt about her ability to make clothes. Selma points out it's the shortest challenge they've ever done, and they do seem to be taking that into account.
With McKell, they like the basic idea, but not the results. Nina says she made the model look unflattering, which I agree with. Then they harp on the accessories some more. Come on, they weren't that bad. The purse was wacky but the shoes were good! And then Nicholas, whose beautiful model still didn't sell the boring dress. But while Michael was bored, he's sure Nicholas knows how to make clothes. Nina appreciates he was concerned about making something that looked well-made, calling it very respectful.
The designers return and once again get told they were in the bottom blah blah repetitioncakes. Once again they imply they might get rid of more than one person. I'm annoyed by this for two reasons: 1) they don't, and 2) they do in episode 2 (spoiler!), and I think they shouldn't have.
April is in. She's applauded by her fellow designers when she goes in the back. Nicholas is in, and kowtows to the judges. Stop that. Get some confidence. Please. He does a little celebration cheer when he gets in the back. Then Heidi says, "Jason. We are intrigued. You're in." I slap my forehead. Come on. You're kidding me, right?
McKell perplexed them. Casanova's look was fascinatingly bizarre and they question his taste. Ivy didn't stretch herself. Heidi says "pants out of pants" again. Shut up.
McKell is out. I'm ticked off. It wasn't that bad. She's applauded when she returns, and has to break it to the other designers she's actually out. Sad.
Ivy and Casanova are told they're both getting another shot. "There's something about each of you that interests us." In Ivy's case, I think it's that she stands behind her design so soundly, but Casanova? They want to see him make more weird stuff. And while that's nothing new for the show, I suppose, I don't like it. I think that Casanova should've gone home along with Jason. Two people out the first week would've been fine. I feel like McKell simply didn't strike them as interesting enough, and that's a stupid reason to kick a designer off.
Back in the designers' lounge, Tim says he stands by his earlier critique: he thinks her dress was adorable, even though it didn't fit the model very well and had some dubious styling.
McKell says the usual "someone has to go first" thing, and seems fairly upbeat for someone who just got kicked off unfairly. She points out that everyone faces problems sometimes, but if people quit after the first one, no one would ever get anything done, which is a lovely attitude. I hope she does do well.
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